Friday, December 16, 2016

(^%@#$%^&*&^$^%$#@^%$@#$*)

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG POST CONTAINS FOWL MOUTHEDNESS THAT I MOST LIKELY WILL NOT SENSOR DUE TO THE FACT THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW WHAT THESE WORDS ARE. IF YOU DON'T DO NOT READ THIS BLOG UNTIL YOU ASK YOUR PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom if you're reading this, I'm sorry.

Cussing, cursing, vulgarity, and just all around fowl language are basically unavoidable. It's been this way since words were invented. As someone who was raised that bad words are, well, bad words my mouth is generally pretty clean. But that doesn't mean that bad words have no place. Sometimes you just need a word to describe something and 'dang' just doesn't cut it. But bad words aren't meant to be taken lightly. Words carry weight. I know that sounds stupid but think about it. Every word you read has a meaning to it. You can change one word in a sentence and it will change it's whole meaning. I love you. I hate you. One word makes a whole lot of difference. Notice at the start I said a 'generally' clean mouth. I am no saint. But I know that; Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21Your words are important and powerful, even if you don't think they are. One kind word or hateful comment can change even a stranger's entire day.
But it isn't enough to know that they're powerful. You also have to know their meanings. They are not just words used when you catch your toe on the kitchen table or lose your job. They have actual meanings and origins! That guy you just cussed out. You didn't just cuss him out. You literally damned him. You just said I damn you to hell! This is the same mouth you can cast demons out of! Your words hold a power you don't even understand and you can literally curse someone! Now don't get me wrong. God didn't give you the power to legit send someone's soul to hell, only he can do that. Fuck is pretty self explanatory. It means to have sex with someone, generally outside of marriage but this is yet another blog I need to add to my list.
Bitch is another one I hear all the time. But funnily enough I don't often hear it as an insult. It's more used like boys call other boys 'dude' or 'bro'. But the fact is it means to call someone a female breeding dog. You called a girl a worthless pet who's only use is to make babies. You are an asshole.
Speaking of assholes, it's one of those words that's not particularly horrible in meaning. You're just calling someone a butthole.  Ass is another word for butt and Donkey so even though it's a mean thing to say it's logically not worse than calling someone a butthole. But it still has weight and shouldn't be said without reason.
Now I'm gonna say one that I just feel should be addressed but most people should know that this one is wrong and why. For those of you who need to know, NEVER use the word Nigger! I feel dirty even typing it! Google has deemed this word as too bad to give an autofill for! It's slang for 'negro' meaning black but it's meaning is way more than its definition. I'm not very well educated on the whole meaning myself but the term goes back to the American slave trade and refers to African-Americans as 'black cattle' in a sense. You see why this is a BAD term? This one is making me uncomfortable so I'm just gonna leave with 'nuf said. I'm sorry I had to bring it up
You hear people all the time saying 'don't take the Lord's name in vain' but this commandment means WAY more than we originally understood. First off it's main focus is not on the phrase 'oh my god'. It was meant to refer to false prophets, people who were preaching against what God's word says in His name. 
Like they had His approval. 
What God is saying here is that we shouldn't put His name on something without just cause. If I make a stripper club in the 'name of the lord' that's just insulting and misusing what He gave us. And before you read that last sentence and think 'wow God's touchy, I just hurt His feelings' think of who God is. He is Holy, Perfect, Omnipotent (all knowing), Omnipresent (all present), and literally so big that there is no word for how big he is, he just is. When asked by how to describe Himself He literally says I am; Exodus 3:14. He isn't just big, he isn't just powerful. He just IS. He has a right to be angry when you stick His name on something that He doesn't approve of to begin with!
The other reason we shouldn't use His name in vain is the term most of us know. These days the words 'oh my god' and 'jesus' are used too much. Stop with me for a second and think of a word... now say it outloud for 30 seconds or so. Does it lose some of it's weight? A banana doesn't really feel like a banana after the fiftieth time you've said it does it? The word god loses it's weight over time. I don't care if you're a Christian, atheist or another religion, that word means something. After the billionth time hearing 'jesus' it stops sounding like the saviour of the word and starts sounding like and expletive.These words aren't meant to be thrown around like bouncy balls, they're meant to stick. Meant to leave a lasting impact. Even if my meaning of the word is different from yours.
We use these the word god way too much.
It doesn't even begin to describe Him. That's not even His real name you know. The Israelites had a name for Him. It was only allowed to be spoken once a year by the High Priest, the top leader who would spend all year cleaning himself for the event. Now THAT is a powerful word! It's a word you have to spiritually and physically cleanse yourself to speak. It is literally awe-inspiring! In my heart I'm sorta glad it's been lost. If it were known today it might be disrespected just as other words have been. I feel like calling Him God is putting Him too small. Like He's some character from Supernatural that you can find some spell for and kill. On Supernatural it's actually not that hard to kill a god. I can tell you exactly how to 'kill' Zeus, You need a stake struck by lightning (A stake not a steak, we're not striking cows with lightning) and a nice sturdy pair of rubber soled boots. That's it! They make it seem almost easy. 
Supernatural, however, has it all wrong. And I mean ALL of it but that's another post. God is so insanely big that it's laughable to think that you could so much as slightly irritate Him. Think of us as ants and God as the elephant. Only the elephant is bigger than the universe and we're still ant sized. So to use the word god so flippantly is absolutely horrifying and belittling of someone who can only be described as He Is.

Whew! That is enough typing for one day. If this blog perked your interest please let me know. And if you have anything you want me to talk about comment about it! I would love to hear from you! But for now it's TTFN. That's Ta Ta For Now!

Here's one of my other verses that didn't work it's way into my rant Hebrews 4:12

Sunday, December 11, 2016

My OCD

Hi! My name is Brianna. I have OCD. My room is not clean, my bed is not made and my books are not sorted alphabetically. That is not my OCD.
But I will always put my socks on right then left and then my shoes, right then left. I will always pull my pants off by the right pant leg then the left. My phone will always be in my right back pocket and my headphones will always be on my left side.
That is my OCD.
I will always use shampoo, then put conditioner in, then wash my body, then rinse my hair. I will always brush my teeth right bottom, middle bottom, side bottom, right top, middle top, left top.
This is my OCD
 I will never step on a sidewalk seam. I will never step on the stairs with my left foot first. I will count the cars and light posts until I hit an even number that feels right. If I end on an odd number, I will find more cars until I have an even one. I find myself counting words rather than reading them. This sentence has an even amount of words. This one doesn't does not. I have to eat an even number of pieces. If I find myself with one m&m left I will bite it in half so I can have two. One piece on each side until there are none left. If I get cookies I will either get an even number or I will eat the first one in half, one half on each side of my mouth.
This is my OCD.
Sometimes people tease me for it. They think it's just something quirky I do for fun or as a habit. They make sure to eat two of my five gummy bears and leave me with an odd number. What they don't know is that I will spend the next half hour feeling uncomfortable. It makes me cringe at the thought of not pulling a door shut all the way. The feeling of incompleteness will cause me to open and close the door several times until it feels right.
That, is my OCD.
I like things neat and orderly. Everyone can appreciate a perfect line of pencils. But that is not my OCD unless three of those pencils are blue and two are red. I just changed the number of pencils in my imaginary scenario because four and one didn't feel right to me.
THAT is my OCD.
I count the lines on the floor or the colors in your eyes or the shapes on the wall or the cabinets in your kitchen. Putting away the dishes is my job because nobody else understands that the new spoons go on the bottom or that all the plates have to face to one side. They don't know that as I think of new things to type I am tapping my fingers on the keyboard and I am trying to make sure I put an even number and it never works so I just count them as pairs. Does this paragraph seem too long because at this point I am just trying to get the incomplete feeling to go away. It hasn't yet but that's okay because I will tap my finger against the table firmly until it feels right.
Yes that feels better.
All of these things have become such a part of me that I don't even notice them unless I leave myself with nothing else to think about. They mostly become background noise. Until I'm left with one m&m...
That is my OCD